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*You were making your way quickly to the theif when suddenly there was a wet SMACK of one of your sandwhiches….Well it would seem that they didnt forget to take one after all. You quickly peel off a slice of salami from your face before making a frantic grab at what appeared to be their coat…but no dice. What the heck IS with this guy? You figured it must be a dude because there’s no way a girl would look this fucked up without whining about it.
You let out a snarl as they began to get away. Now would be the perfect time to see if your strife would work! You hastily pull out what appears to be a simple top……..and you just kind of….chuck it at the trolls head with as much force as you can muster*
HEY COME BACK, DICKWEED YOU DIDN’T GET A TASTE OF THE NUCLEAR FIST-PUDDING I MADE JUST FOR YOU!
> Well, this is not one of your proudest moments. Not by a long shot.
> The mighty hunter, bested by a simple wooden top. It hits you on the back of the head, and you stumble, miss the window, slam into the wall instead, and have to take a few brief moments to shake the stars out of your eyes.
> Of course, in these situations a few brief moments can be pretty damn critical.
> Today is just not your day.
*You had JUST settled into your coon for the morning when you hear a small shuffle downstairs. OH HELL NO. It HAD to be that coward bulgechoker that liked to raid your fridge! You wait for a moment, in hopes that your GIANT FUCKING LUSUS would wake up, but you hear nothing. You had to take care of this shit on your own. With a quiet growl you grab your boots and silently ease yourself out of the green slime, sneaking silently down the hall before you……
gracefully slip on the sopor residue and fall all the way down the stairs*
FUCKIN PISSMONKIES IN A BARREL DAMMIT DAD, WAKE THE FUCK UP YOU GIGANTIC WASTE OF FUCKING ATMOSPHERE THE DAMN PRICK IS HERE IN MY HIVE STEALING MY DAMN FOOD—You get to your feet quickly, fists raised and in your boxers as you dash to your kitchen*
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE ASSBAG, YOU FORGOT TO TAKE A KNUCKLE SANDWHICH!
> You’re so startled by the sudden commotion that you lean up suddenly and hit your head on one of the lower shelves of the fridge. It’s probably just because you’re so hungry (or…thats what you’re going to tell yourself later) but rather than being out the window the moment you hear something, you’re just surprised enough to still be standing in front of the fridge when the hive’s owner stands gets there.
> WELL, SHIT. TIME TO GO.
> Reflexively, you toss the sandwich you’d picked up right into his face and scramble for the window, trying to ignore the twinge of pain that shoots up your bad leg. You’re probably going to really regret this later, but for now, first priority: GET THE FUCK OUT.
>IV: Bust into a hive in the forest and steal your next meal.
> You don’t normally like to rely on stealing food this much, because the risk of getting caught always worries you, but the traps you’ve had the energy to check have been coming up empty, and your leg and ribs have been aching something awful lately.
> Besides, it’s hard to resist, when this dumb little twerp has the easiest window locks to break. Seriously, it’s ridiculous.
> Really, you wonder why he bothers.
> You sign to your lusus to stay where he is - you aren’t sure you’ll be able to grab him fast enough if anything happens - and climb into the hive, careful to set your good leg down first as you make a beeline for the fridge.
> Guy may have crappy locks on his windows, but he’s got good taste in food, you’ll give him that. Always appreciated when you find something worth stealing during a break-in.
quietly changes icon
conners kind of important to me in case you didnt notice
You know Conner, you seem awful touchy about your territory. Have you been having trouble with trespassers lately? eue
What the fuck do you care? Nosy little fuzzbucket. Hmph. It just so happens that some little shit head has been breaking into my hive just to steal my fuckin’ food! They don’t take anythin else, just my food!
WHICH IS BASICALLY ALL IVE FUCKIN’ GOT. DO YOU KNOW HOW GOD DAMN HARD IT IS TO FEED MY FUCKIN FURMOUNTAIN OF A LUSUS. THE GIANT ASS DOUCHETIT EATS A FUCKIN LOT. FUCKIN FATASS OLD GEEZER.
AS SOON AS I FIND OUT WHO THIS THEIF IS I’M GONNA SHOVE MY BOOT SO FAR UP THEIR ASS THEY’LL NEED TO DRINK BLEACH TO GET THE TASTE OF LEATHER OUT OF THEIR THROAT.
FOR THE RECORD THO YOU GUYS ARE ALWAYS ALLOWED TO REMIND ME TO DO THINGS
esp if its reply or something ( i mean like, gimme an hour or two at least, and there’s some days i’m just not up for it)
i am forgetful as FRICK
well nevermind then
apparently my scanner doesn’t wanna work ok =w=”
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